May 2013
5 posts
Trying to build up the courage to continue from before and it’s just like not there :/
Emotional Overflow
Back in late January I had a breakdown. I realised from this that I had blocked out some emotions that everybody else had. I didn’t feel anger or jealousy. I didn’t get agitated or aggravated or stressed or excited. All I really did was be sad, coy or hyperactive. Which was nice, It was preferable, there was a voice in my head and that was okay… I could ignore that. It never...
Anonymous asked: The answer to your questions change all the time. Right now, I'm worse. The voices are louder and my head isn't happier. I don't know whether I feel nothing or just depressed. I guess tonight is just a really bad night. But I was good for a while. I was okay and I liked that it was sunny. I'm supposed to be in an inpatient mental health facility, but my parents thought it too...
Anonymous asked: I guess if you can't remember who I was, maybe you'll remember the photo of a girl in a tree: "She was a dreamer, someone completely out of touch with reality. When she jumped she probably thought she could fly." I like talking to you after all this time, even if you don't remember me and even if you never see these messages. xx
Anonymous asked: Hi Blue. I wonder how you're getting on. We used to talk quite a bit and I've missed you - you always had the right words and made me smile. The blog that I used to talk to you.. well I don't go on it any more, which is why I'm on anonymous. I wonder if you remember me. The last thing I remember you telling me was about a girl at your university, and you were friends but then...
April 2013
5 posts
You know when your ability to do anything just crashes out because everything around you just feels so absent and blank. Emotion just drains from you and you just want to shut down instead, maybe it will fix itself later…
“If you are going to fall in love with me,
It’s only fair that you know what you...”
–
-Unknown
(via eveningwitheldiablo)
March 2013
1 post
Renewal
It’s been many months since i was last on Tumblr, partly down to me forgetting what my password was (reset now), but also because i felt the time to drift away, become more independent use my will and mind to handle the discrepancies of my thoughts. I’m not sure weather it helped or not, and either way I’ve stumbled my way back to Tumblr with a state of life that is worse than...
October 2012
1 post
Anonymous asked: Blue! You have a great blog! Your posts are so in depth and they're so meaningful.. Wow! I've seen a completely different side to you. Awh.. c:
September 2012
9 posts
Continueing from before...
We still make each other dinner, she still lets me walk with her and sometimes hold her hand, not as much, but still :3 So I’m just going to wait here for her, wait for her to feel better :) and then when we both feel better, the world will start again. All the little things that no one notices, all the emotions that make life worthwhile, they all only work when you’ve people to share...
Didn't want to write this because of some of the...
I’m at uni now, doing maths and computer science, in Derby. I’ve been here since last wednesday and met new people.
The most important is Georgina, She’s amazing, rediculasly cute and does things in this weird spontaneous way. For me it’s enough to just sit there and be with her, hold her if i can :3 It was going really well and we were two of the first people here, so had...
:)
Now to sit here and wait for a reply from someone who might not reply anytime soon, but thats ok im very paitent.
Found something I wrote ages ago...
The essence of time is but, what will be into what is, then what was. There is no real time and therefore no real length of it. Now multiply that by infinity, take that to the depth of forever, and you still will barely have a glimpse of what I’m talking about.
Losing Sense
Yh’know those times when you can feel yourself fading. Feel the warmth of having people around you dissapere. You know its all still there but it just keeps on disapating away. The world is getting further and your losing all sense.
Well that how i feel right now. I know how to fix it. I know who can fix it. I’m strong enough to just be here waiting but it would be nice if i didnt...
Where can I buy a new life from?
Generaly the pet store. You can even pick which kind of life you want, a hamster or a fish… maybe even a cat or a bird? Theres plenty to choose from, pick whichever you like :). Just make sure to to keep that life happy and stuff XD
suicidaal:
i didn’t want help
i didn’t want to stop self harming
i didn’t want attention
i didn’t want to recover
i didn’t want to see a doctor
i didn’t want to see a therapist
i didn’t want to see a councillor
i just wanna cut, is that so bad?
No but before you do, just smile, for a second or two :)
86,400 seconds
Of sitting there and wondering: What would truely be a worthwhile use of time?
August 2012
11 posts
A Dreamer
I saw a post just now… on here. It was a picture and on the picture was a girl in a tree. There was a caption too :) The caption said that the girl in the picture was a dreamer. It said that a dreamer was someone who was completely out of touch with reality.
I think im a dreamer, a dreamer most of the time at least. I know im here, and that everyone else is too. I just hardly ever feel...
Would be in such a better state of mind if i had...
I’m just alot to handle. And i leave for uni soon. :(
Teardrop
Have you ever tried just crying? You dont have to make a sound, theres no need to wail or sob. Just let your eyes share your pain. Let a tear drop in the atmostsphere. Let the rain speard your sadnes so thinly across this world, that when we smile later our tears fade away. I’m silent by nature, and i dont show anyone.
I proberbly cry more than anyone, but thats not something i tell people....
screwbeautiful-imbrilliant asked: I also want to say sorry. I'm sorry I cut. I know you may not want me to say sorry for it, but I feel that I need to. I feel I let you down in some way. I am trying, and I'm getting there eventually (I hope). But I'm sorry that I gave in tonight. I'm trying to be strong like you. x
A World of Wonders
Sometimes it’s hard to see whats there. Sometimes it’s just easier not to look. I assure you its worth looking and i know you wont listen. I understand why you sit there, lay there, cry there. It’s because you feel alone. I know that you know that your not and I know that it doesn’t matter because you feel it anyway. I know what the problem is. I even know the solution but...
Anonymous asked: I just read something you wrote about me about a year ago. It bought a smile to my face, You're really sweet...
The colour Blue
be-truetowhoyouare13:
There’s an irony in the colour Blue I think. When you’re down you say, “I’m Blue.” And goodness knows that is exactly how I feel right now. You relate Blue to so many sad things - blues music, the colour of tears, the colour of your veins waiting to be cut. But a person who’s recently come into my life has changed my perspective - Blue is now the colour of the beautiful sky...
Heavy Lifting
“I’ll try not to be a burden” words you hear. “Thank you” and words you listen too.
However hard, However heavy. When a friend offers help nothing is asked in return. Gratitude is welcomed and listened too but then to listen to how a friend feels is always welcome.
If a friend offers help, they offer it as your friend. Your friendship is what carries the weight. Your...
The Emo
Emotional, Ustable. Beautiful. Sceenic. Arcadia.
From the outside there is attention seeking, there is sadness and there is depression. The fine line. A surface with a water’s tension. A seal to be broken. If your up for making a freind that is. So not everyone is stable, they don’t show themselves. They’re shy. You all catorgorize them because they out show you, and then you...
Asthetics
I really… REALLY liked how my tumblr looked before, maybe ill cahnge it back. I’ve some new pictures though, and wanted to see if i could make use of some, so i have. Maybe if you like it you could say, or tell me to change it back, i don’t mind. It’s just nice to know that someone, if anyone actually looks at these. i may not dissapear for months if i knew that.
This...
Feeling better
It’s been a while hasn’t it? I can’t say ive missed using this. It was always just something for when im feeling a little creative, but then that almost always during the night when something made me smile. Tonights no differnt i smiled, someone new, someone never mention on here before. Then again few people are mentioned. Really what i wanted, was a new picture here and another...
March 2012
1 post
Let's all spin round in Circles
Let’s all spin round in Circles, i like circles, do you like circles, i like spinning round in circles its all spinerery :3 i like minecarts too! let spin round in circles on minecarts :3 whilst riding pigs…and repeatedly tapping shift….
#minecraft
il’d like tag jemma costin in this buh i dont know how to O.o
February 2012
2 posts
Didnt even look at me :/
Most of the time im content with noone to notice, noone to care nor bother with my exsistance. Sometimes though, i dont mind some attention, from those who care, those who matter. Always i want your attention, however selfish it may seem, for when i have your attention, nothing else matters and my reign of bliss begins.
My World just isnt working out right now...
I need a world to borrow, just untill mine is fixed. Looking for something intresting, maybe something new. If you’ve got room to share in yours, let me know :3
September 2011
2 posts
Pages
Okay so theres this thing and its got writing on it, but im sure people proberbly neglect the bit to the right where the navigation is… theres a couple important buttons on there. like ‘Drawings’ and the long named one about me. These are Pages, like the posts on here, except on a page of their own. Now cos i like to do things just a little diffently ima eventually move my posts...
Dayumn im Good!
Well with a touch of genious and a little of me, ive sused how to make it so that the posts relevent to navigation and understanding the blog are at the top. and although everything will be on pages which can be found to the right the original post of which will still be on the main page you just have to scroll, or check the archive. ill decide later the dates ill use to organise them as i would...
August 2011
2 posts
The Peak of the Weekend: A Great Start
Everyone loves reaching the peak, right? Well when your carrying 3 days of stuffs, the temprature is only bareable and it just so happens to be currently pissing down with rain :/ the only thing to look forward to at the peak is that you cant go much higher. Well not without first walking down some steep footpath or minor road anyways.
Its almost the weekend, barely packed everything, get to...
One of Those Rare Moments.
Every now and again, something, could be anything happens. It doesn’t happen very often but when it does your face just lights up, and you cant help but smile :3 These moments make all those “problems” which people have disappear, at least for a little while. It only need to be something little, but of course its the little things that make all the difference. Someday...
July 2011
5 posts
The Best Kind of Company.
you go out and you hang arround with peeps, some peeps are cool, others not so much, but your out of the house which is pretty awesomes in itself. theres people i like more than others, and thats de weird people, theres so much more to them, so much originallity, and randomness, like actually randomness, the things that make fun times brillient!
Theres nothing wrong with straight people, and i...
One of the Paramore song played during the walk...
Erly morning walk.
So its about half 12, you need a piss and a fresh cup of tea. We’ll just stroll indoors expecting no-one to be up still… until you see your elder sister Cherrie sitting on the computer still O.o? Ok then…”why you still here shouldn’t you have gone home by now?”….”err no my dickhead of a boyfriend said he was coming to get me at 9 and hasn’t...
The Two Kinds of Skype Calls...
Kind 1…
Well you get lots of people and you add them all in, start the voice call and something or other is said. ive never really seen anything other than akward moments and giggling, with the ocasional word or two about something intresting…O.o these are pretty fun and tend to contain the weirdest material youll ever hear, many of your contacts will go insane by the end of one of...
January 2011
3 posts
Header
After creating myself a header image from a couple of creations that i once did to consume time in college. I’ve worked out that it rather dissipiontingly removes the title along with it :S. I was particulary likeing the appearance of the title, but considering how much i like the amalgramtion of those two images i think ill leave it as that now anyways. Soo, tell me what you think?
Well that was rediculasly difficult!
Theres a rather intreging section on the set up of a tumblr account. I was expecting the ability to move things around to how i like them, yh’know like how its says on the 30 things about tumblr… but no that doesnt quite work, im sure its possible with the html custom coding. It’s nice of them to have that option on there…but for those who can’t code in html we can...
To help those like me, who are to lazy to look for...
Well it seems that after going through the setting page on here ive found and activated a few more intresting things. that allow you to converse with me, how AMAZING XD. Anyways, if you look to the side of the page (the right side) you can find two little buttons. One is about questions and the other posts. If you go on the question one you can ask things of me, and i shall reply -theres even...
