Hey, I haven’t been on Tumblr for a while again. It’s a bit hard to do anythings atm, I’ve been to see a counselor recently, have my last session with him on Thursday. It’s helping, I think I’m eating better, and some voices have stopped for a while. But I think it’s more a defensive thing; my friend has been having troubles recently, and I worry about her, that kinda takes priority.
It throws people off whenever I talk about not expecting to be around that long. I was talking about learning to drive with a flat mate, and he just didn’t get that I didn’t want to drive because it would make it too easy to ‘have an accident’.
Uni, however scary it mights seem, is a great place to be. Making friends is the most important part though. Living alone isn’t great, but you’ll have housemates or flatmates to keep you company. I live in halls because they have staff here and I don’t want to end up in a house by myself needing help and having no-one to turn too. Sorry If I haven’t said anything in a while, it’s hard to keep up with everything. I just try not to fall away. Oh, be social, even if none of the people you meet ‘get it’ even if they don’t understand anything about you, just be social it will help alot of time go pass.
I’d like to say that them not understanding helps, but it doesn’t really, it just makes it easier to pass of as being fine all the time. At least it kills alot of time being social, alot of time when things are happening and time that I don’t have to be sad.
I find I don’t get sad about things much anymore, I just get sad. Like as though I ran out of reasons to be sad, and now it’s just something that turns up and sticks around for a while. Everyone is accustomed to me missing lectures already this year. Just as long as I manage not to fail at the work I’ll be fine.
This is all over the place, I want to be so helpful and supportive and then when I think of myself and how I’m doing I can only think of how I’m still drifting, unable to tether myself to something stable.
Well it was nice to hear from you, and I’m glad to hear of you being so successful, I hope I didn’t make this too negative, and I wish you luck in applying for uni :)